Why did I write this book?
Is there anything new to say about affairs?
Yes and no.
No, because it’s always the same pattern, the same stories. And always has been.
Yes, because the stories you hear about what happened in an affair are not the whole story. Not the true story. So exposing the true story is something new.
I want to break open the truth, give you the inside story, cut out the euphemisms.
I’m often asked if this required a lot of research. Again, yes and no.
No, because affairs are all around us—the famous, the unknown, the celebrity, the neighbor, the boss, the co-worker. We just have to stay still and listen.
But, yes, because affairs, by definition, are secret. This means that once the affair becomes public, it’s easy to make up stories about what happened during the secret time. And it’s hard to find out what really happened. What happened emotionally, physically and practically. But with the playbook in front of us and by extracting the facts that we can from the secret time and knowing what we know from the public time, we can put together the true story.
Is there any value in knowing the true story? Yes, because affairs are affecting all of us in one way or another. Cutting out the euphemisms lets us see how they’re affecting us. And how if we simply go on accepting the euphemisms and the nice, acceptable stories we are giving the OK to some pretty unacceptable behavior, like lying and harm to society.