Tori Spelling was ahead of the curve when she acknowledged to herself, as she was about to marry Dean McDermott, that the marriage might be starting off on the wrong foot.
The fact is that both Tori and Dean were married to other people when they first met on the set of Mind Over Murder and then took the relationship much further.
Tori realized that she was marrying a man who had cheated at least once. She knew for sure because it was with her. And he could do it again.
But the ecstatic feelings of an affair won out and Tori married Dean. Not only were there ecstatic feelings, but according to a recent article in The Star, Tori has recently expressed the thought that Dean’s “decision to leave his wife and son for her … was based on true love.”
Now Dean has taken cheating to the hilt. It is shocking, inexplicable and humiliating. He is cheating on Tori with his ex-wife, Mary Jo Eustace.
Tori is “confused and devastated.” On the surface, it’s no wonder. Dean took the huge step of leaving Mary Jo and his son for her. He probably was making critical remarks about Mary Jo all during the affair. Sex with Dean was great. He may well have told Tori during the affair that he had finally found his soulmate.
Why Sex with an Ex is More Common Than You Might Think
But Tori should not feel too alone, or feel that this nightmare is only happening to her. In fact, it is far more common than is generally known or talked about that a man will have sex with his ex.
Is there an explanation? Yes. A man still has a connection with his ex-wife. He may feel that she is still family. There is still affection and attraction. Now his ex-wife is the one with some mystery to her because he doesn’t know everything that is going on in her life.
There is also guilt along the lines of, “If I ‘take care’ of her now, then that makes up for the hurt I caused.” Sometimes there may also be self-protection such as, “If I give her some attention, some sex, then she will stay away from my money.”
If It Happens So Much, Why Don’t We Hear About It?
We don’t hear about sex with the ex much because the man who is sleeping with his ex-wife can look like a fool if he discloses it. People think, “You told us how crazy and inadequate she was, you went through all that stuff with the divorce, and now you’re sleeping with her?”
The new wife won’t talk about it because she feels humiliated and possibly inadequate and may be scared to face what’s happening.
The feelings are confusing to all concerned but they are most hurtful to the new wife.
Unfortunately for Tori, because she is famous, Dean couldn’t hide the affair and she couldn’t hide her humiliation. But she can have the satisfaction of knowing that other women may be comforted by realizing sex with the ex is more common than most of us think and that her notoriety might help bring this “secret” out of the closet.